Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We say the wrong things, we take things too personally, and we hide our “pessimism” about the future with the assertion that it is “realism.” Inc. Magazine contributor, Geoffrey James believes that there are 5 toxic beliefs which can be the reason for ones lack of success.

1. My self-worth is based on what others think of me. Some people define themselves based upon how they guess their boss, co-workers, relatives and friends see them. When they are convinced that others think poorly of them, such people lack the self-confidence necessary to consistently take action.

I often hear lawyers I coach say… “They won’t hire me as their lawyer.” And the answer to that is… “Of course they won’t if YOU think they won’t!” If you don’t think you are worthy of working on a matter, others will think the same.

 2. My past equals my future. When some people experience a series of setbacks, they assume that their goals are not achievable. Over time, they become dispirited and discouraged, and avoid situations where failure is a risk. Because any significant effort entails risk, such people are then unable to make significant achievements.

Change is uncomfortable and risky, but if you accept the status quo… growth isn’t likely to happen.

 3. My destiny is controlled by the supernatural. Some people believe that their status in life–or even their potential as a human being–is determined by luck, fate, or divine intervention. This all-too-common (and ultimately silly) belief robs such people of initiative, making them passive as they wait for their “luck” to change.

You make your own “luck”… so get to work!

 4. My emotions accurately reflect objective reality. Some people believe that their emotions are caused by external events. In truth, though emotions are determined by the perception of those events, combined with preconceptions about what those events mean. Such people find it difficult or impossible to “get out of their own heads” and see situations from another person’s viewpoint.

I see this one in law firms a lot. Great advice… “Get out of your own head!”

 5. My goal is to be perfect or do something perfectly. Because perfection is unattainable, the people who seek it are simply setting themselves up for disappointment. Perfectionists blame the world (and everything in it) rather than doing what’s necessary to accomplish extraordinary results. That’s why “successful perfectionist” is an oxymoron.

Some wear “perfectionist” like a badge of honor. As you can see here it is more likely to be enemy-number-one of success. So would you rather be a success or a perfectionist?

You can change your beliefs. Choose! And if you would like some help along the way, I’m here. Shoot me an email.